Don't you just hate that word? Whenever I hear it my gut tenses up a little and I immediately think back to things that I regret most. I usually go year by year of my life. My list is pretty long...
My grandmother passed away last month. The first week after her death I would lay awake at night and reminisce on all the wonderful things that we would do together and what a wonderful woman she was. Then it would hit me like a ton of bricks...the guilt, the regret. I would begin regretting that I didn't write to her more or that I didn't call her more. I would regret that my kids would really never get to know her. I regretted not getting to tell her one more time what she meant to me and how much she influenced my life. I hate that hollow feeling that you get when some facet of your life is unfulfilled.
I have heard the saying, "Live life with no regrets". Who writes that kind of garbage? Well, maybe it is someone who can actually think before they speak, have a million dollars to spend on things that they may or may not need, and have a perfect size 6 figure (I'm regretting eating those delicious Thin Mints right now). As I've been mulling my regret over for the past couple of weeks though, I've come to the realization that really I can't change anything that has already happened. As much as I would love to change certain things that I did or said over my life I can't.
Whenever I start thinking about what I feel the worst about I begin to forget all the great and wonderful things that have happened in my life. Why is it that we always remember the ridiculously horrible things that we do and forget all the shining moments? Well, this is where it ends. I know I will continue to say stupid things that I will regret later, but I will never again let relationships with those I care about take a back seat.
